I, Vulcan Ambassador Chuck, am writing this posting to help my best human friend, Chuck Divine, teach his fellow humans about the most dangerous species on Planet Earth -- The Penguins.
The Penguins have most humans fooled. They think of The Penguins as a bunch of jolly birds living way down south -- think Antarctica. They are not!
First, let me tell you a bit of history. In the 1980s, Argentina tried taking the Falkland Islands away from the British. To their great surprise, Argentina lost the war!
A few weeks after the war was over, a large group of Penguins, led by a King Penguin and including a big group of Mutant, Zombie Penguins, traveled from their base in Antarctica to Buenos Aires. While they were marching down the street, they were attacked by an Argentine Army Company. All the Mutant, Zombie Penguins had to do was to deeply exhale. That knocked out the Argentine Army Company. When The Penguins got to government headquarters, they shocked and then delighted Argentina by negotiating an alliance with Argentina. While they were negotiating this treaty, though, they told Argentina they would have to keep the alliance secret until The Penguins told them they could tell the world. Argentina was glad to comply. They realized they now had as an ally the most powerful species on Earth.
What has happened in the past year? The former Roman Catholic Pope RETIRED. It has been a long time in human terms since this last happened. Then, who did the Roman Catholic College of Cardinals elect to succeed Pope Benedict? They elected Pope Francis -- a man from ARGENTINA!!!!
When is humanity going to wake up and take action? They need to get their police forces out of their military style uniforms and into Red Dresses! And supply them with Good Beer! And teach them a few funny songs! The Galaxy Wants To Know!